It's Cauld

IT'S CAULD SCOTTISH WEATHER (IN FAHRENHEIT)

* 50 degrees - New Yorkers turn on the heat.

People in Scotland plant gardens.

* 40 degrees - Californians shiver uncontrollably.

People in Scotland sunbathe.

* 35 degrees - Italian cars won't start.

People in Scotland drive with the windows down.

* 20 degrees - Floridians wear coats, gloves, and wool hats.

People in Scotland throw on a T-shirt.

* 15 degrees - Californians begin to evacuate the state.

People in Scotland go swimming.

* Zero degrees - New York landlords finally turn up the heat.

People in Scotland have the last bbq before it gets cold.

* 10 degrees below zero - People in Miami cease to exist.

People in Scotland lick flagpoles.

* 20 degrees below zero - Californians fly away to Mexico.

People in Scotland throw on a light jacket.

* 80 degrees below zero - Polar bears begin to evacuate the Arctic.

Scottish Boy Scouts postpone "Winter Survival" classes until it gets cold enough.

* 100 degrees below zero - Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.

People in Scotland pull down their ear flaps.

* 173 degrees below zero-Ethyl alcohol freezes.

People in Scotland get frustrated when they can't thaw their kegs.

* 297 degrees below zero - Microbial life start to disappear.

Scottish cows complain of farmers with cold hands.

* 460 degrees below zero-ALL atomic motion stops.

People in Scotland start saying "chilly, you cald an aw?"

* 500 degrees below zero - Hell freezes over.

Scotland win the World Cup (football & rugby)